If you spend much time on social media these days you probably see post after post of memes, and quotes that say something like “A real man stands by his girl no matter what” or “The couples that are Meant To Be are the one who go through everything that’s designed to tear them apart and come out even stronger”. While all of these sayings sound good, they sound like solid relationship advice, especially to those that are just getting into the dating/relationship world, but as an older guy who has been down the road a bit, may I share some advice with you? If you are interested in / or dating a girl and her wall is filled with posts like this…
RUN…. RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN! DON’T LOOK BACK, DO NOT PASS GO! DO NOT COLLECT ANOTHER NAME IN THE LIST OF EX’S!
You may think that I am being harsh or silly, but I promise you this, if you are in your teen years, especially 11-15, these quotes and statements are doing nothing but setting you up for a huge disappointment and heart-break. Why? We want to think that every relationship that we enter is going to be “the one”, we see it on TV, teens that are dating and they run through 3 or 4 seasons breaking up only to get back together, stronger and better than before. We want to think of only the best in the other person.
Let’s look at it this way, it’s your first day at your brand new job, they hired two of you, and you both start day, you, trying to look presentable got to work right on time, the other person, got there 10 min early (stinking overachiever). You walk in and clock-in for your first shift, only to have the other new hire begin showing you how to do the job. They tell you when and where to be, they correct your uniform, and they tell you which of your co-workers are ok and which ones are better to just stay away from. Would you be inclined to listen to your fellow new hire?… It’s OK, think about it for a minute, I’ll wait!…
I would hope that you are mature enough to know that the new hire, like any one you date, is just as new at this as you are. They have no more experience, or wisdom than you do. The difference is they act confident, which gives the appearance of knowledge, when in fact they have no idea what it is really like.
Let’s look at just one of these real quick, this young lady is expecting perfection. “I’ll never do anything to hurt her” This statement alone is not a promise that you can keep. People are flawed, humans will always hurt those around them. They might not mean to, or do it intentionally but it will happen, then it goes on to say “before I was an *** and I didn’t care”. This kind of statement is self-defeating… then wraps with “she’s my life”. If you are reading this then you are most likely a Christian, our life is in Christ, remember “No longer I, but Christ who lives within me”! You can’t make a young lady your life and still allow Christ that place of honor.
Then there are the massive amounts posts that are something like “9 Signs you are with a Real Man”. The truth is, no relationship is perfect, they all take work, they all take communication, they all have ups and they all have downs. Dating by nature is the opportunity to find out more about someone and to see if there is the possibility of a longer term relationship.
Don’t go into a dating relationship with someone as an early teen, thinking… this is going to be the one! You never know! Spend time with God, pray for your future spouse, pray for the relationships that you have or will have and ask God for wisdom and guidance in each one. The Bible says if we lack wisdom, all we need to do is ask and God will grant it.
Have you had been in a relationship like this, comment below or post on our Facebook wall and let us know!